Dear Bonnie: Tips for Toyland

Editor's Note: Dear Bonnie is our truth-telling advice column from Bonnie Siegler. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do, and invite our readers to submit their questions directly to: [email protected]


Dear Bonnie,
Maybe you could have a look at our new toy company. Hoping you might be able to provide feedback.
Thank you for your time!!
Best,
Jorg Schuster
www.rootsroller.com


Dear Jorg,

I am happy to look at your new toy company, but I am not sure what kind of feedback you would like.  Are you asking what I think of the idea of the company? Of the web experience? Of the graphic design? Of the product itself?

So I apologize, but before I look at your company, I'm first going to have to use this as an opportunity to talk about the pitfalls of casual letter writing. (And not typical advice column letters, just regular old letters...ur...emails.)

When writing to a complete stranger, especially when you're asking them for something, it's imperative that you take the time to make yourself as clear as possible. You only have one chance to get someone to pay attention and that chance lasts mere seconds. It's crazy easy to dash something off and hit send, but a half-baked email almost always raises more questions than it asks. It takes just a bit of extra time to write a good, straightforward letter, and with all the emails we all get every day it’s even more crucial to represent your case well.

In your next email seeking feedback, start by telling the recipient why you're writing to THEM (and yes, flattery will get you everywhere). Then tell them about your company, how old it is, who else is involved (you wrote "our company”), what your goals are, and all that good stuff. Finally, ask the question: what would you like from them? Be specific. That's the best way to ensure that you'll actually get what you're looking for.

And now, all that being said, here is some feedback, hopefully along the lines of what you are looking for:
The design aesthetic is lovely and works very well with the product, which I think is charming. However, I have no idea what size the cars are since there's nothing about their dimensions or anything in the images that provides a sense of scale. Finally, the price is a bit steep, so I would need a little more information about the product, the company's philosophy, and more about how and why you do what you do in order to justify spending so much on a toy.